


together we're lost in a dream

by azumarheart



Series: walking the tightrope with you [1]
Category: Euphoria (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Happy Ending, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Not Canon Compliant, basically i fixed the ending of the last episode you're welcome, jules has empathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-10-04 15:48:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20473550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azumarheart/pseuds/azumarheart
Summary: They’re running on borrowed time. They’re two figures in a snow globe, and it’s perfect in the moment. They make a beautiful pair. Glitter raining down from the roof every time they get shook up. But Jules can’t handle being caged in, being trapped. Rue doesn’t mind as long as she can see through the glass windows. But Jules is going to have to break the globe eventually.aka the fic where Jules gets off the train





	together we're lost in a dream

**Author's Note:**

> I needed a fic where Jules gets off the damn train :(  
I'm obsessed with Euphoria and there aren't enough fics so expect to see more from me!
> 
> As always; please comment if you enjoyed this! I love to hear from you!

Jules knows that she can’t be Rue’s sole anchor in life. She, herself, is as unsteady as a buoy in the middle of the ocean. During a storm. Sometimes in the Bermuda Triangle. Anyways, the point is; Jules isn’t steady.  
  
Rue needs stability. It’s something her brain craves: the OCD demands it, anxiety begs for it, bipolar disorder requires it, and the core of herself mandates that stability is the only way to survive. Simply put: Rue thrives on solid ground.  
  
(The drugs made her hover a foot off the ground. Close enough for comfort with all of the thrills. But they also made her brain shut down, with a sound like those old TVs used to make. A static decrescendo followed by silence.)  
  
Jules is untethered. She’s been soaring high for years now. Jules spent so long feeling cemented to the earth, in jail cells, and in society’s roles.  
  
The first time she put on a pair of heels she bought, she saw the world from a little higher. And she loved the view. And so she floated higher, and higher, until she just let go one day.  
  
Wore what she wanted, painted her face however she felt, and did what she desired. Made friends with whomever she wanted to.  
  
Let random men fuck her, hurt her.  
  
She loves the feeling of flying.  
  
Jules and Rue shouldn’t work so well. They’re opposites in so many ways. But just the right amount of parts click so well together.  
  
It just takes effort on both sides sometimes to make ends meet.  
  
When Rue says they should leave town, Jules almost leaves her body. It feels like her soul has breached the clouds, and she has tugged Rue up with her. She looks at the wide eyed grin Rue is giving her and agrees. As they ride through the night, through the apple grove and damp streets, Jules’s mind has breached the atmosphere.  
  
She’s dreaming of when Rue finally meets Anna. Thinks about laying in bed with Rue, while Anna does their makeup. Roaming through the city and getting up to shit. Dancing on the rooftop and laughing. Driving through the tunnel and sitting on the roof of TC’s car.  
  
Going clubbing, the three of them, and getting lost in the lights. Coming back to TC’s place. The three of them fucking in the neon light, glitter eyes and shining skin.  
  
It might not last forever, but she’s not focused on that. She never is. Jules lives in the moment, and in the idealistic future.  
  
As they pack and head to the train station, Jules starts to hear the hesitance in Rue’s voice. The drooping of her posture, the nervousness in her eyes, and twitchiness of her movements growing. Jules can feel Rue trying to pull her back down. Back below the clouds, back to solid ground. Rue’s alarm system is wailing with the need to be stable.  
  
Jules can’t. She can’t go back down. Not now.  
  
Her hand grips Rue’s tight, and she tries to be reassuring as possible. It fails.  
  
She’s not here to be anyone’s manic pixie dream girl, no matter how much she acts and dresses like it. She doesn’t know how to make Rue want to give up everything else. How to untether Rue from planet Earth when it’s what she needs.  
  
Jules doesn’t think she can.  
  
She doesn’t know if there’s a compromise.  
  
Her heart is pounding as she tugs Rue towards the train. If she can just get Rue on, they can float together. Soar through the night sky and get lost in the cosmos. Infinite possibilities.  
  
But Rue can’t let go. She has her family and her life and her reasoning. Her medication and her stability and her mental illnesses.  
  
Rue lets go of her hand.  
  
Jules stands on the train, looking at Rue with desperation pouring out of her face. Begging her to get on the train. To cut her ties. Jules loves her.  
  
Rue loves her too. It’s clear on her face. But so is the anxiety, the fear, and the pain.  
  
Jules is ready to let go. She doesn’t know for how long, but she’s ready to. She’s used to loss, she’s used to flying around alone. It’s nothing new. There’s a mental countdown in her head rapidly descending towards when the door will close. She’s ready to let it reach zero.  
  
But she stops for a second. Really looks at Rue. Clears her mind of the selfish daydreams and optimistic outlook.  
  
Rue is heaving breaths. Her anxiety is dialed up, and visible in every inch of her body. Toes turned inwards, like they only do when Rue feels insecure. Posture hunched more so than it has been lately. Trembling, really shaking, hands. One reaching out in the empty space between them. Furrowed eyebrows, creasing frown lines. Hot tears are pouring down her cheeks, unable to be kept in. Her mouth twists and quietly muttering numbers in orders that Jules knows helps calm Rue down. Jules doesn’t think Rue is even aware of it.  
  
But most of all, Jules looks in Rue’s eyes. She sees despair, begging, sadness. A deep-aching pain, a hint of resolution, as if she already knows that Jules is going to stay on the train. She knows that everyone she loves will leave her. That their relationship is a ephemeral thing, that it won’t last. That Jules will always leave in the end, will always float back towards the sky at the end of the day. And Rue will be left, on the rough concrete, scraped and bloody, staring at the stars longingly.  
  
It hits Jules like a punch to the gut.  
  
She doesn’t want to hurt Rue.  
  
She loves Rue.  
  
Living out this daydream in the city doesn’t matter if Rue isn’t there. If Rue doesn’t want to go. If it means ripping Rue apart to leave.  
  
Jules knows she can’t be Rue’s saving grace. That they’re running on borrowed time. That Jules is too free-spirited, and Rue too down to earth. That Rue needs to find her own way to manage her addiction and keep away from the drugs.  
  
But for now? There is one thing Jules can do.  
  
She steps off the train, and onto the platform, right as the doors close.  
  
She grabs Rue in her arms, and holds her tight. The relief pours off of her, and she sinks into Jules’s arms.  
  
  
Jules can give her this.

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to talk more about how we view Jules as too much of a manic-pixie dream girl stereotype who will save Rue. It's a lot of pressure for someone who is human and has her own problems. She's allowed to be messy too. Also want to stress how Jules experiencing the love from the queer community is so powerful that it overrides any desire to live a normal life. She just wants to bring Rue to see that love and lift her higher.  
But Rue is tied so tightly to her family that she won't let go. And she's too fragile to be transcendent like Jules at the moment.
> 
> Okay I should stop ranting and go to bed lol love you all!


End file.
